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WaxingTevet, 5775

1/4/2015

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This past Shabbas, we finished the book of Exodus with parsha 'Vayechi.' At the end of each parsha, the Ashkenazi tradition says: "Chazak! Chazak! Venishchazeik! Be strong! Be strong! And may we be strengthened!" while the Sephardic custom says “Chazak u’barukh” at the end of every single individual Torah reading, which means “strength and blessing.” It is interesting to realize that while direct oppression of our people is currently not prevalent in the modern Jewish reality (except in particular disturbed areas of the world), this reality is still very real for many other tribal groups and ecosystems throughout the world. Yet if we look more subtly at the paradigm within which much of the modern world operates, we realize that strength and blessing is crucial support for us to remain steadfast to resist, refuse, and consciously navigate amidst a modern world where the military-industrial complex of 'developed' countries dominates so much of human civilization's patterns, rhythms, timeframes, and systems. As we consciously participate in these networks to earn a living and to contribute to evolution, we tap into this strength and blessing to remain vigilant in how we hold sacred space and thereby create portals for healthy wholeness, wary of what influences we allow into our homes and minds & what beliefs and paradigms we allow to guide us. I challenge us as we read our ancient books to look between the lines, into the spaces for how we can find ways to liberate oppressive patterns in ourselves, our relationships, and in how we relate to the earth as well as to discern the voices of the beings not recorded in our history such as women and nature.

While 'Vayechi' is predominantly about Jacob blessing his grandsons (what about his grandaughters?), the relative reconciliation between Joseph and his brothers (what role do the wives and daughters play in this?), and the death of Joseph in which the request is made for his bones to be brought back to the promised land. (interesting to explore his mother Rachel's burial on the roadside and later removal to a tomb in Bethlehem).  Several questions arise as we move from the book of creation to the book of 'going out,' on the heels of this parsha. One of them involves the power and legacy of blessing that we offer to our children, our loved ones, beloved neighbors, holy strangers. Each shabbas after we welcome in the angels, we have the opportunity to bless each other. It is at this time we are reminded of how fragile all life is and how even our thoughts, intentions, goodwill for others can potentially affect the energetic backdrops of each others' lives. This parsha involves two deaths and hints at possibilities of resurrection, afterlife, and immortality of the soul.  While eastern traditions have complex teachings about the laws of Karma, Judaism hints of a similar understanding in the context of how much we give of ourselves now indeed affects how Divine blessings manifest. During this year of Shmitta, it is an instructive exercise to look back seven years in our lives and witness how our intentions then may have helped shape the reality we are living today.

As we enter this next book and the impending fullness of tomorrow's moon approaches, I revisit seeds planted previously this past Rosh Chodesh. I noticed in this two week time period that intentions to slow down and be more fully present in relationships, required me to step out of task oriented duties a bit more to fully crystallize intentions and blessings for those I am with. This past thursday was the 10th of Tevet in which we fast to honor the destruction of the first temple 422 BCE. As I glimpse old worlds crumbling before the modern world and elders struggling to pass on teachings to younger ones who are feeling the pulls of modernity, I bless us to recognize what holy spaces we have inherited to tend and to tap into the support systems there for us to remain loyal to them so that we can more fully allow for Divine support and the spreading of blessings throughout the web. Perhaps as we all do this from our respective hearths, we withdraw our vibrant lifeforce energy from life-destroying systems and instead plug in to the life-affirming networks which ultimately are the backdrop of our journeys.
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Waxing Kislev

12/5/2014

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The moon is almost full and we are in the 8th parhsa of Genesis, Vayishlach. This parsha is complex and has many teaching in it for us. Without going into too much detail one angle of the trajectory is as follows: Jacob seeks and establishes reconciliation with his brother Isau, Jacob's daughter Dinah is raped, her brothers retaliate, Jacob builds an altar and cleanses his household, Jacob's wife Rachel delivers a son Benjamin before dying, his father Isaac dies at 180, and the two brothers bury their father together. While each event and many between these are worth full explorations, I am instead going to focus on how this parsha resonates with what I am noticing in the world today.

The first concept of reconciliation between siblings (or any relations for that matter) is an important process for healing in the world. While the text explains all that Jacob did ahead of time to prepare in the physical plane, (and this involved changing his plans a few times) it is hinted that there was much inner work on the emotional/spiritual plane required in order for his heart to be truly open to restorative connection. He ended up spending the night alone rather than with his family before reuniting with his brother perhaps to engage in hisbodedut and to really become clear in himself in this courageous act.

As I look around today in the world when racism still exists in the legal system and minds of many, when colonialism continues through exploitation of native people's homelands via pipelines and other atrocities, when ancient wars in the Middle East continue with increasingly cruel attacks on either side...I look closer at the circles near home and see that these trails of disconnection are all still visible in subtle forms. I recognize in myself lovingly and yet with awareness that a certain vigilance, semi-permeable boundary, incessant education, and space for inner clearing is needed in order to filter out the mass media and cogtrail that today's modern world seems to operate according to.  Nights alone in these long moments of darkness and stillness may be good medicine for us all at this time. What courageous acts of reconciling can we then do?

The story of Dinah is troubling for so many reasons but particularly because of the violence and resulting retaliation against a whole community. As I reflect on some of the tragedies that have happened in our community recently here involving teenage suicide, sexual violation, and drug abuse, I know that they stem from the same wounded patterns present in biblical times. In trying to make sense of these tragedies, I feel out to the messages in Bill Plotkin's book Human Nature of the Soul, in which he points out how much of our society is run by uninitiated adults. I wonder if those who raped Dinah, those who violate others and themselves today, are really just acting out of a hurt place where they never received the acknowledgment, guidance, and responsibility they needed to transition from teenagehood to adulthood. The question then becomes how do we restore instead of retaliate? How do we help the perpetrators repair? How do we help the victims and families heal? How do we recognize the parts in our individual and collective selves that may have allowed in some mysterious way for these tragedies to occur? Granted we cannot take full responsibility for all the injustices of the world and yet we cannot NOT take responsibility either.

This weekend a young girl in our community will be transitioning into womanhood via her Bat Mitzvah. As she has been preparing and experiences the rites this weekend she will be following on a trail, that her birth tradition provides to enable her to formally step up in front of her community into a new role of community membership. Questions I pose for her to consider include: what does it mean to become a woman? What skills do you still feel you need to cultivate? Who are people who can be a support for you? What new responsibilities can you take on? What new privileges can you ask for? What niche can you create in the community? These are questions I still ask myself after continuing to learn what it means to become a woman fifteen years after my rites. Perhaps we all continue to rediscover what it means to be an adult in this modern world where discernment is needed to support the village and resist the empire. We need each other as mentors, friends, and guides to remain clear in our highest potential and most lucid form of service.

This week's parsha involves the tragic death of one of our matriarch's Rachel. Rachel was buried on the road and it is this image that I sit with this week as we enter the darkest week of the year. As I travel through the world I am noticing more and more how in becoming an adult, I have given up parts of my life to serve in a greater system I do not agree with. In order to take care of the earth, loved ones, and as much life as I can beyond immediate circles, I actually need to be very careful about how much I do leave 'the garden' to serve in the greater network because it gets sticky quite quickly. Getting in a car, using the computer, using electricity..all of these acts though done with good intentions are done on the backs of other species, in habitats of other beings, from resources better saved for next generations.

A few weeks ago Rabbi Rose asked us how our view of Divinity has changed from the liturgy we use. He listed 27 names of G-d and had us share which ones we resonate with, which ones are alien to us, which ones could we experiment with... As I play with female names of Divinity through my Kohenet training I am reminded about how much cocreating, uncovering, rewiring we can all do in helping to restore the balance of this beautiful and yet very fragile world. Rabbi Sholom Brodt shared in his visit with us how our thoughts, speech, and actions are garments of the Divine presence we channel. Our consciousness of this role, will determine perhaps how much we allow or block blessings to flow through us. As I read through teachings from Rav Kohenet Jill Hammer and other Kohenets about the role of women as temple weaver priestesses, I understand more perhaps why doing simple crafts with my hands allows me to return/remain in wholesome states. Kohenet Ma'ayana shares: the lines in the Torah: (Ex. 35:25-26) "Every wise-hearted woman spun with her hands; and they brought the spun yarn of truquoise, purple, and scarlet wool, and the linen. All the women whose hearts inspired them wisdom spun the goat hair." It seems to me that a helpful action to do during the work week for now when overwhelmed by the fragility and brokeness of the world may be to wash a fleece and pick up my drop spindle ...  perhaps from here some helpful weaving can occur.
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Waning Tishrei 5775

10/19/2014

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Autumn's cool air arrives after a generous blessing of rain starting on Shemini Atzeret. Today if feels as if a great cleansing has occurred amidst the radiant yellow and orange leaves still lingering. This past weekend we read Bereshith and it is indeed interesting to consider the trajectory laid out: light, day, night, sky, heaven, earth, seas, vegetation, sun, moon, stars, water creatures, flying creatures, terrestrial creatures, man, woman, and the sabbath. This order is not so different from Western Science's creation story as laid out in the Great Geologic time walk: http://www.globalcommunity.org/wtt/walk_photos/print_pages/index.htm, if you are generous with what constitutes a day. As I see connections between our ancient lunar calendar paradigm and the modern Western world's framework, I also realize that this seeming congruity is only in the layer that has allowed our people to endure exile, pograms, dilution of a rich land based tradition, and the current renewal/rebirthing phase our tradition is experiencing. As we enter the Shmitta year, which is akin to a Sabbatical year for the land, our work, our financial ties, our role in the empire, it feels important for me to pause continually and check in with how exactly am I honoring this giftful time.

As our joyous festival season wanes and we approach winter, I look at the 3 Festival framework as a blueprint for what territory I am leaving and entering. It has been described by many that Pesach in spring is akin to the Creation time of a nation forming, of young love blossoming; we read the 'Song of Songs' and herein seeds are planted for living on earth in a liberated state of love. In this light Shavuos is often described as the time of epiphany when revelation occurs at Sinai. In this time humans are taught the responsibility that comes with love when within a social context. This time when we read the 'Book of Ruth,'
has been related to the phase of adulthood when tending the garden full of seeds supports its blossoming offerings. Continuing on to Sukkos, we experience redemption as we complete the harvest. We read 'Ecclesiastes'  and are in a wise state of elderhood in which the season of death approaches.

So now as I reflect on the seeds planted at Pesach, nurtured at Shavuos, and harvested at Sukkos I ask: how am I going to distribute this abundance? How am I going to make it last through the long winter? What seeds can I save and store properly for spring's planting? How can I tuck in the garden with nourishing compost and mulch to allow it to rest/rejuvenate comfortably and deeply? What nuggets can I feed the microbial community to help them endure the winter in good form? While the literal level of these questions did guide me these past moons in how I thanked and put my garden to sleep, dried herbs, preserved crops, made medicine, bottled up seed, prepared communal meals.. they also guided me to sleep more, meditate longer, be more discerning about when I use the computer, play more music, take more care in the manner how tasks are accomplished rather than how many tasks are accomplished. I know this is only the beginning.


A recent article entitled 'The Ordinary Decency of the Heart,' in Rowe Center's The Center Post, describes in an interview with Andrew Harvey the fine line between mysticism and activism. This nebulous space where naked forest sinusiums and blazing understory overlap, where spiritual connection and good deeds in the material plane radiate from, where planting and harvesting emerge, where work and rest mirror each other, I am reminded of wise words from somewhere (not sure the source) that said, 'how we do anything is how we do everything.'  So at this crossroads I am realizing the following truths for me at this time: more time on the cushion means more efficient and kinder service in the world, more dreaming time allows for more spacious creativity in my work, a renewed dedication to nurturing the village is going to be more effective than trying to heal the empire, when I can be kinder & gentler with my self of selves I can be more compassionate and present for others...

Thank you for reading these raw, though partially digested or fermented ponderings, full of probiotics:) I bless you with spaciousness to reflect on your seasonal journey and nourishment to consciously venture forth according to your soul's wisdom. Shalohm.

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    Jessica Rubin; (Yepeth Perla)

    YP is a student of the living and written Torah. Currently she is studying about the time before Judaism was canonized within a patriarchal & written form. As a Kohenet, Hebrew Priestess, she is inspired by how early peoples connected with Divinity when they were living closer to the earth and devoted to the Divine feminine.

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